Anticipation
My first Tanka, (I hope).mornings always risesky and sun merging slowlyI also must risesubmerging all of desireuntil the day slips into night
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Douglas you understand that I know sod all about forms...but I loved it, looks like a Tanka to me, but then I mix up wasps and bees so not to trustworthy on such things...so Tanka or whatever I give...
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Douglas, Loved this. It's the perfect poem for a poet: the same eyes that can view the morning's "slow" merging of sky and sun, can also become passive witness to the world, suppressing desires until...
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bongler wrote: My first Tanka, (I hope).Mornings always risesky and sun merging slowlyI also must risesubmerging all of desireuntil the day slips into night----------------------..hi Douglas.i don't...
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Douglas, this is a beautiful tanka, and an extremely good first attempt. You have 3 clear and effective images here which complement each other well. Apart from removing the capital M from morning, I...
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Thanks all. My brief perusal of the form seemed to highlight certain specific aspects of the genre, including the importance of the pivotal third line. It's a very interesting style and I like it...
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That's fine, Douglas. I totally understand. I think you misunderstand me though. I am not suggesting you throw this one out. This one stands in its own right. It is a fine tanka. I am suggesting an...
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Thanks Liz. I understand what you mean. As with all poetical forms the musicality, the rhythme if you like, is the key, and even so called unstructured free form poetry has to have flow in order to be...
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Ok, Douglas, here are a couple of versions. The first one is still yours. All I have done is leave out some of your words. mornings rise merging sky and sun I also rise submerging desire till day...
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I don't quite get this LIz. I hate to quibble, but the syllable count is all over the place in both versions, so they don't really follow the proper form as I understand it? Also I don't like the...
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That's fine, Douglas. Honesty is what it's all about.In modern English tanka, the syllable count is regarded as a guideline by most people. Some people always do 5-7-5-7-7, but most people do less,...
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Thanks Liz. I have now spent a while reading up on the subject and I think my mind is pretty much made up. Personally I think the syllable count is quite central to the form, although from what I can...
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Douglas,The 'syllable' count in Tanka and Haiku is not based on English syllables.It is based on 'On's which might be considered as breaths.Unless you speak the Japanese language, the syllable count...
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Thanks Sarah. I expect you're right, but I think on this we will have to agree to disagree on this one. As far as I can see the syllable count is based on the transposition of the form from Japanese...
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Yes, it is an enjoyable discipline, Douglas. The reason there is so much controversy is that there is no correspondence between English syllables and Japanese sound units. For example, take the word...
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Thanks Liz. I have done a bit of boning up and I do understand that the Japanese and English language is entirely different in construction in pretty much all ways. Perhaps I am being a bit hard line...
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I agree with you there about having a peg to hang your hat on. You should do what you want to do, and what gives you most enjoyment, and I think it is important to be able to do 5-7-5-7-7 effectively.
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